The 75th Inspiration

Greetings!

    There aren't too many choices when life decides it's time for an "intensive". Those times when life seems to pull out every possible rug from underneath you.  You just have to go with it, and rely on whatever level of equanimity you have when it all comes down.  Equanimity is the ability to tolerate discomfort.

Equanimity is a really BIG and spacious concept. It's as big as life, because no matter what you're being faced with it, it has the potential to transform any moment.  The place that equanimity leaves you in is a powerful and sturdy one. Our strength and courage are born from the steady wisdom that it allows you to access, even in the most difficult situations.

My biggest teacher lately has been with my mother.  What do you when your parent and dear loving friend loses her sanity to Alzheimer's and can no longer understand you or what's going on in the present moment?  You simply have to get past your own stuff and show up with all the love and support you can. 

I am so grateful for the years I have spent consciously cultivating equanimity.  Without it I don't know how I would be surviving the chaos and sadness. It's equanimity that's allowed me to sit with her for hours and rub her back, explore her hallucinations, help arrange her stories into happy ones, and laugh with her at something that isn't really there...all the while as my heart is breaking.

Equanimity is an acceptance of even the harshest of circumstances and it creates access to our sensibilities.  When you can remain calm, there's a compassionate intelligence that allows you to make your best choices.

To make this work with my mom I've had to consistently breathe into my sadness, grief, anxiety, fear, terror, and all my aversions as they arise in the moment. It's a background process going on the whole time I'm with her. It's because of this mindfulness that I've been able to handle it emotionally and stay compassionately effective. The breath becomes the vehicle for releasing your discomfort, and your equanimity is born with every intentional release.

It's also the necessary ingredient for patience.  In every aware moment, you can replace your typical reactions of impatience or frustration with a moment of conscious hesitation, in which you can infuse "allowing" into your experience to replace the resistance. And every time you succeed, you're heightening the chances that you'll remember to do it next time with more success. This is the power of a mindfulness practice.

It's our inability "to be comfortable with discomfort" that's the core of our weakness and the trigger of our distress.

How does one become comfortable with what doesn't feel good? From my experience, it's really a choice to desensitize yourself and change your attitude through repeated exposure, and to change the meaning that you give things. In this case, you choose to no longer let the discomfort "mean" that something is wrong or that it needs to change. You allow life's hardships, and respect how they are bigger than us.

The concepts behind the practice of equanimity are;

*Not resisting your circumstances.
*Letting go of your ideas about what should or shouldn't be happening.
*Not resisting or automatically believing your own internal emotional reactions,
*Not buying into your stories and opinions that criticize the present, or fear the future.

If you can interrupt your programs with an intention to find peace with the moment; With time and practice you can re-create how you experience the world.

How much time and practice?  As Pema Chodron says, "We must start where we are".  I invite you to start or re-start right now.  It can happen with just an intention but meditation is the best known way to support this whole process. Every time you sit and watch your inner experience from the safety and wisdom of your observer and you don't give into the drama of the mind, you're building equanimity.  For detailed instructions on a classic meditation to develop awareness and equanimity, go here: http://dld.bz/meditate

It's my intention for KnowComplaints to offer you the resources you need to make this happen.  There are 74 past inspirations addressing much more for you to ponder.  To view please go here: http://bryanzerr.blogspot.com

Wishing you peace and Palm Springs Prideful weekend!
Bryan
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bryanzerr copyright 2011

All prayers and best wishes for Thelma are appreciated!