The 17th KnowComplaints Inspiration.

Greetings, Today we send heartfelt wishes for peace and comfort to our struggling brothers and sisters in Japan. Life can really hurt. This isn't the kind of suffering we can talk ourselves out of and it isn't appropriate to try. The pain that comes when tragedy strikes make sense, and it needs to be accepted and honored. Unfortunately loss and physical pain are the unavoidable consequences of being human and it breaks our hearts. So respectfully, how can we meet this tragedy consciously and see it as a teacher? This demands "radical acceptance" as Tara Brach calls it. "The act of accepting something that feels terribly wrong." When we choose acceptance, our ccc feels like we are wrongfully resigning and surrendering. This is yet another misunderstanding. Yes, we are giving up but not for the wrong reasons. Surrender is only sane choice when we can't control something, unless we can leave. We can help those in need, but to give it any more mental attention is not helpful. To keep thinking about this will re-live instead of re-lieve your fears. At this point, why watch more of it on TV? It won't help to bring their pain into your life. It just perpetuates the suffering. Giving them your attention may feel like care and support, but repeatedly immersing yourself in their pain just extends the damage caused by this disaster. So how do we apply what we know? The standard practice is always the same 3 choices. Change: Send money, prayers, and help in any way you can. Accept: Allow, drop your stories, remove your attention, meet and metabolize your disappointment and pain consciously *, and make the best of it. Leave: You could change the channel. We don't want to forget that this happened we just want to move on. Why is acceptance so hard? Because it feels terribly wrong. This is living proof that just because something feels wrong doesn't mean it's the wrong choice. It's extremely hard to accept what doesn't feel good, but as you cultivate the equanimity* that makes it possible it will get easier. The key is to remember that acceptance is not approval. To accept something is to say yes to it, even if when it doesn't fit into your story about what "should" be happening. So how does the process of acceptance work? Life is a constant dance of trying to influence things, then stepping back and allowing. Change, accept, attempt more change and accept more results. Then restart from when you land. We also have to re-frame our story, and reprogram ourselves to think about the situation in reasonable healthy and supportive ways. This is how we create a new inner language. Hard things to accept may need to be re-framed over and over again. You will have to repeat the process whenever the pain or memory is triggered until the new perspective is habit. You'll need to intentionally take your attention off it many times. Please remember: When the painful feelings come back, it doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong or your attempts to let go aren't working. It's just the process and you need to be patient. The pain will diminish over time. And as with any discipline it will become easier. As you practice the relief will come sooner and your courage will get stronger. Acceptance is also difficult because we're so skilled at resistance. We have been practicing it forever. According to our complaining, critical and condemning minds, almost "everything" shouldn't be happening and it has repeated this to us endlessly. So I suggest you let today be about appreciating your gifts. We are so lucky in so many ways and in this moment we are safe. I suggest doing a random act of kindness for someone here, and dedicate it to the people in Japan. Support them by respecting and honoring your abundance and enjoying your day. Thank you and wishing peace to you, Bryan * This asterisk means the concept will have at least one entire inspiration dedicated to it in the future. To view past inspirations or sing up to receive these click here: http://bryanzerr.com/newspad/default.asp Bryanzerr copyright 2011