To sum up our strategy: In theory we don't need to know where our negativity comes from to deny it, and respond to situations with courage and love instead.
We can't let our misguided feelings hold us back from doing what we know is right, so we can treat others as well as ourselves with the love, compassion and respect we deserve.
If you wait for our feelings to change before act, you might wait forever. This is why so many people are stuck. We need to fake it till we make it. This is crucial.
If you're angry, just act kind.
If you're feelings are hurt, don't attack back.
If you're disappointed, move on.
If you're in fear, calm down but still take caution.
If you're in a bad mood, manage it.
If you feel guilty, apologize or let it go.
This is how our lives change "now". It takes courage. "Courage is taking action in spite of fear, not in the absence of it."
We can choose to act in spite of our feelings to:
Restrain ourselves in spite of our anger.
Act kind even when annoyed.
Move forward in spite of our disappointments.
Forgive in spite of our resentment
Respect in spite of our criticisms.
Be grateful in spite of our unmet desires.
Here's the steps:
1.Automatically assume your negative feelings are the result of faulty thinking, and deny them any power. Courageously act from your heart and wisdom whenever possible.
2. Find the mistakes in your thinking and re-arrange your mental views. I will help you in detail. We can create new patterns that will create new feelings, but will also keep the old ones from as easily repeating themselves.
3. Excavate what really happened to you way back when you formed your original beliefs? Got therapy? Sometimes this is needed, but possibly not as much as traditionally thought.
And here's they are in action as an example from my day;
I hear the news report about the potential threat of radiation and my initial reaction is panic!
I feel it. I breathe into it. I watch it as it fills my body with fear and I feel the rush of adrenaline instantly. Yet I have space around it, and I trust it's an exaggeration. I can still be cautious, but with calm, based on the assumption that it's going to turn out fine instead of into a real personal threat.
I just gave my panic "the benefit of the doubt". I chose to believe that "it's not going to mean, what it is making me feel".
Danger is not imminent and it's highly unlikely. I know that. My panic in the past has been a lie (innocent untruth) 99.5% of the time, so why should I believe it now? It's that simple. This applies to hopelessness and anxiety, as well as most future fears right? They're all emotions based on imagining a terrible result that rarely comes true.
To assume your negative feelings are incorrect or exaggerations, is what I'm asking you to do. Treat them guilty until proven innocent. This expectation is far more realistic than expecting them to reflect the truth. It's accurate logic and it will give you an edge.
Act now and heal the core of it later. The insights you need to know for healing will often come after you stop acting out something like anger. The change in behavior offers us a bigger view than we had before.
This summary felt necessary, and an explanation of the why we have a complaining, critical and condemning mind is next, as well as the answer to our Koan: Is it okay to complain or "let loose" when your alone?
I'm off to Sedona but will continue from there.
Peace to you,
Bryan
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Bryanzerr copyright 2011
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