Greetings!
A dear friend of mine Maxine, once reflected back to me a personal blind spot that taught me a very valuable wisdom.
While catching up with her one day, I was telling her about a friend of mine she knew, who had become pretty unreliable and stood me up a couple of times. I had tried to work things out by asking him to be more considerate but it wasn't working, and at this point I had decided I should just disappear from the friendship.
Although I was pretty disappointed in this situation, I thought had managed to not take it too personally. I felt I had successfully kept my complaining, critical, condemning mind from creating a lot of drama and I wasn't even angry. I just felt like walking away and shutting the door and it seemed like I had been pretty skillful. But after I finished my story Maxine seemed a little quiet and I could tell she was feeling a bit uncomfortable about something. When I asked her about it, she hesitated and then said, "but you've taken your love away."
At first I felt defensive because the idea of taking love away is very far from the way I see myself in the world. My conscious intentions are that I want to give love, not take it away... but when I saw what she meant I realized she called it right on. I hadn't attacked him or unleashed on him, but I had shut down and pulled away. I was closing him out of my heart yet I just saw it as calmly walking away.
It was going to be his birthday the next day and I wasn't even planning on calling him. This was a powerful wake up call for me and I am so grateful. I often hear Maxine inviting me, "to never shut anyone out of my heart no matter what". She always encouraged me to remember, "everyone is divine even if they aren't acting like it"!
Well I didn't call my friend on his birthday, but I did send him an email and I even told him to call me if he'll keep his date! It didn't feel authentic to my complaining victimized self, but it felt authentic to my wisdom and my path. The choice was so invigorating because it felt so empowering to my true self.
After I sent the note I found myself experiencing warmer and kinder feelings toward him. It was as if I had broken through my resentment and healed myself by extending myself beyond my shadow. My complaining mind lost its power because I had acted directly against it.
Maxine passed on at 94 years old, but her words continue to push me and will always be a gift. Her memory often invites me to see where I am holding myself back; especially from the people I personally love. It's so easy to shut down when we disagree with anyone and it doesn't have to be that way. We can still have our differences and remain loving, but it's a challenge that takes practice.
Let's focus this week on being generous, and practice extending ourselves to others. Generosity is an essential key to everyone's spiritual growth and happiness in many profound ways.
The practice for Tuesday: Reach out to anyone that you have consciously or unconsciously pulled away from and extend a friendly gesture.
It's also great week to start taking those meditation or mindfulness breaks. Please take the time to breathe, reflect, let go, come back to center, and live the day through the wisdom and heart of your observer.
Peace to you,
Bryan
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