The 50th. Trust and giving the benefit of the doubt.

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Greetings,

For those of you just joining, there are now 50 inspirations available for your reading pleasure, and I'd like to mention how much I appreciate the attention and encouragement I've received up to now. The response has been so moving and it's very meaningful for me to be connected to such a sincere and amazing group of people.

Today I'm inspired to share what has empowered me to let go of my self-created suffering more than anything. It would thrill me if it inspired you as deeply as it did myself.

The premise is that when you feel hurt, unloved or offended by someone you love... when you "believe" your hurt feelings, it denies the trust you supposedly have for these people you are close to. It's a common notion that the people you are close to are the people you can trust.

What we don't realize is that our anger or hurt is based on an unconscious assumption that someone wants to cause you pain. This hidden idea or interpretation isn't true most of the time and this judgment is an offense to their integrity.

It's like we get temporary amnesia. The people we know and trust deserve the benefit of the doubt. Our first reaction logically should be that they just made a senseless mistake and not that they tried to hurt us and deserve to be punished. We also to need trust they will likely be willing to try to work things out. Both these truths would keep us peaceful and in our hearts instead of getting into our defenses.

From my experience it is almost always true that our pains and hurt feelings are because we have misunderstood someone's intentions. The tragedy is that we've usually already hurt or insulted these people with our feelings or anger before we have taken the time to figure out they didn't deserve it.

"The big truth is that everyone makes mistakes and very few of us mean to hurt others."

A typical scenario is that your friend or partner forgets your birthday, is late, or forgets something concerning you. If this means to you that they don't care about you or love you enough to remember, you're going to feel hurt. If it means they just got busy or forgetful, you might still be disappointed or annoyed but you won't be hurt. This can save you from enormous amounts of conflict in your relationships. Doubt your suspicions, not the person you love.

The practice is to ALWAYS doubt your upset, and question the negative meaning you give to whatever was just said or what happened. If you do you will be pleasantly surprised to confirm that most people really do care about you and want you to be happy. You will also have once again diffused the grief and damage that can be caused by the negative assumptions of our complaining, critical and condemning mind.

Wishing you a peaceful and trusting day,
Bryan

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